Reason #13

I will not expect Mr. Butler to reenact any of his movie roles for me in person. I may giggle a little and blush and say "Oh my gosh" like a teenager if he comes over, but I promise not to say, can you show me that sword trick from Beowulf where you cut off Grendel's arm? I have my standards.

Reason #14

I have got to be Mr. Butler's craziest fan. Not because I'm willing to throw my naked body on top of his limousine (I'm not, I hate road rash) but because given a night free of my children I am willing to pollute my senses by watching the entire Gamer movie just for the scene where he's in the hallway, tormented. And yes, I almost think the graphic violence was worth the wait; his head in his hands, tortured by being forced to kill a friend, he clearly just needed me to give him a big hug.

Don't get me wrong, I'm old but I'm not entirely against violence in a movie, I just like my violence a little less realistic. I prefer werewolves and vampires myself.

Oh, but I will say about Gamer, if you survive to the 'West Side Story Prologue/I've Got You Under My Skin' scene, that one's down right artsy; brilliant really.

Reason #15

I'm an adult returned student to college. This means I have a mature world view but I'm also imbued with a young hip attitude by being around all these young vibrant students.

Okay, that's total bullshit. Being in close proximity to all these taunt young bodies really just makes me feel alternately very old and care worn, and utterly grateful I don't have to relive being that stupid and insecure. And of course recently, I'm rather concerned about their lack of hygiene since I'd rather not bring swine flu home to my family just by taking a Environmental Conservation class.

I suppose this completely fails as a reason Mr. Butler wants to meet me, but as school has started, I'm just too overwhelmed and tired to worry about it.

Reason #16

I'm married. I get the feeling from all my intimate knowledge of Mr. Butler that he's just not ready to settle down and commit to one woman right now. So even if he met me, fell deeply in love, decided he wanted to marry me, it would be illegal.

If on the other hand, he worries about meeting new women because they might want a commitment from him he's not ready to give, no worries with me, I'm off the market. He can feel free to be himself with me without fear of 'where it might be going' or 'expectations of more.' In the vernacular, I'm safe.

Reason #17

I'm totally not a stalker. I would never spend time watching the movie premier interviews just to see my favorite actor speaking because I know how shallow and silly those momentary interactions are. Nor would I read US magazine cover to cover just for more information on the health of Brad and Angelina's marriage. I mean who would read a magazine that keeps wondering whether Kristen is going to fall for Robert or Taylor, not me! I spend my time reading meaningful deep books about a were-coyote whose best friend is a VW bus driving vampire.

Reason #18

I have a dog. I have a guy's dog. My black Labrador retriever would be at home in any frat house. She's eight months old which means she's a little insane, but she'll calm down. And not two miles from my house is a scenic hilly 15 acre fenced dog park where I walk her around. There's always a breeze blowing, and you look out over corn fields and prairie plants and trees. Walking in the Wisconsin countryside with a breeze in your face and a dog leaping through the tall grass, really it's wonderful.

If Mr. Butler wanted to visit, I'd let him come with me to walk my dog. She'd probably give him a big sloppy kiss. She's like that.

This is Nyx at 3 months.

Reason #19

Tonight I enjoyed an evening of drinks and noshes on my front porch with three of my closest friends. I couldn't find a babysitter for a night out with the ladies so I begged them to come to my house. We put my kids in front of the TV with a movie and enjoyed a lovely evening. As the sun set and the crickets started trilling we made good use of the dimmer switch on the porch. It gave our spinach dip/champagne grapes/shiraz/Capital Brewery evening just the right ambiance.

So if Mr. Butler visits during Wisconsin's two months of good weather, I'd be happy to share my terrific dimmer switch lit porch with him as well.



Image taken by Perry Hagopian in 2008 stolen from GB GALS website gallery....

Reason #20

I'm well traveled. Not in that way! Really people, pull your mind out of the gutter. I mean I have traveled out of my state, out of the Midwest, and out of my country. I've found myself on a bus near midnight whose driver didn't speak English and who had reached the end of his route (unbeknowse to me until that moment) and convinced him to drive me back into town without speaking his language. Hello, by being nice of course! Haven't you been paying attention during this blog?!

I've been lucky to have parents who love to travel, who gave me the same desire to see places and to get into situations that challenged me, at least a little. Traveling has given me confidence in my own abilities and helped me realize how much of what we assume is 'the right way' is really just 'our way' of doing things.

So yes, I would like to hope I'm not too provincial, and yet, I haven't been to Scotland. So if Mr. Butler stops by I imagine I could appreciate his slightly different world view while still being really interested to hear his stories of Scotland. (A place I hope to visit in the future.)

Image stolen from Q Online Gifts website....

Reason #21

My Mom and brother like to play Vingt-Et-Un. Well actually my brother prefers Texas Hold 'Em and my mom's preferred game is Black Jack (apparently Vingt-Et-Un has some specific rules that differ from our American Black Jack, but how could I resist the tie in with the title:)

You may say, "Good for them, what does this have to do with Gerard Butler." But any good hostess must think about how to entertain her guests. If Mr. Butler decided to come over for a visit, he might enjoy a good game of cards. Stakes are low at our house but enjoyment runs high. Just one more reason my house is the place to be.

[Can I admit this blog is way harder than I expected.]

Image stolen from All Slots Casino/History of Black Jack....

Belated Reason #22

I don't have a maid. This might at first seem like a negative. But while I know from experience that having a maid definitely keeps the average cleanliness level of one's house higher, when I finally do get around to cleaning, my house is really clean. And I'm going to take a wild guess and say that if Mr. Butler gave me more than a few hours notice of his visit, I would probably clean the house for him.

So if Mr. Butler visits, my house would be really clean. At least by my standards. :)

Image stolen from Mary and Bob's Journal.....

Reason #23

Madison is a great place to visit. It's friendly (it's in the Midwest, hello!) it's surrounded by five lakes. It's a college town and the student union terrace is right on Lake Mendota. The capital building is really quite impressive, and it has a nice urbanish downtown with a pedestrian shopping/coffee shop/bars street (State St.).

I've heard there are some cool bars with nightlife (Glockenspiel etc) and cultural arts, whether you're looking for grungy music (High Noon Saloon) or more rarefied fare (Overture Center for the Arts). See reason #24 for why I don't know this first hand.

Middleton may have been voted 4th Best Place to Live but it only gets on the list because it's next to Madison. (Oh, I'm gonna get in trouble for that!)

Reason #24

Based on what I've seen of Mr. Butler's interaction with children on screen, (always a reliable source of information) he needs some time with kids to become more natural with them. I have two.

In addition, they are entertaining and cute, if you don't have to live with them. Of course, if Mr. Butler wanted to live with them, that could be arranged.

Picture stolen from Rantings of a Creole Princess.

Reason #25

I'm nice. Mr. Butler is no doubt surrounded by people whom are generally shallow. They either want to enjoy his money or enjoy his other attributes without considering his needs.

I can't say I'm committed to his needs either (goodness, I hardly know the man.) But I'm basically a good person, and if, after meeting him, I liked him, I'm sure I'd be a loyal and reliable friend/lover. My friends might even agree to provide references if he so desired.

Even if I wasn't naturally nice, I'm Midwestern, it's bred into us.







Image stolen from Anna Louise Lucia's website....